It's not as bad with Cooper - he's at school full days and he's required by law to be there so I really can't beat myself up too much over that. He also can stay up a little later so I feel like I get a bit of a visit with him in the evenings. Leah on the other hand is ready for bed at 6:30 - 7pm if we push it...don't get me wrong I'm not complaining...it just really shortens my time with her.
So how do I cope with the guilt? I do a couple of things. I try to make every day worth while in my career. I know that sounds weird but I figure if I'm going to spend 8+ hours away from my 2 favourite people...it better darn-well be worth it! So when I show up each day I look for opportunities to make an impact and move myself forward in my professional development.
I also try to focus on quality time with my kids. I make bath time an event with Leah - lots of songs and games and then stories before bedtime. I try to sit down and play with my kids - even if I'm exhausted - even if it's only for 20 minutes and even if the game they want to play is "super heroes" for the 100th time. Just plug in and make a conscious effort to learn about their day, catch up on our hugs and reconnect.
The one piece that is missing is me. I don't consider myself as important in the equation right now - and tuning into my kids is what keeps me elevated. My kids make me a better person. If I go to the gym I have started to go after their bedtime. 7:30pm isn't ideal for me, but it's guilt-free time which is worth the sacrifice.
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| Mother's Day 2012 with my kiddies! |
What did I ever do with my time before kids? Seriously?
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