Over committed - lessons learned from the bleachers

Back before I had kids I was such a good parent! Back then I used to be so quick to judge "those families with their over-programmed kids." Running from soccer to swimming to piano lessons throwing meals over their shoulders as they navigated their mini-vans into the parking lot of the next arena. I knew that I would never...EVER do that. Not me. No sir.

Fast forward to 2015. I now have 2 awesome kids of my own and although I don't drive a mini-van I can tell you that I broke my solemn promise and while we're being completely honest I can tell you that right now in this moment (just got home from our 2nd rink of the day) - we have over-programmed

our kids...and in the process our whole family.

So how did this happen? What I've learned about myself is that it all comes from a good place. In the case of my son Cooper who's 7, I think we have him in a lot of things because we're still in search of the one thing that he really loves. Sports are just not his passion and to be honest he's the kind of kid that would rather stay home and play on the IPad than do any activity. That aside - once we drag him places he does always seem to have fun and in the process he's picked up a skill or 2.

With Leah, our 4 year old - it is slightly different. She is the kid that wants to try things - she wants to learn to skate, do gymnastics and swim. She does them all with a smile on her face and rarely a complaint. It's been a whole new experience.

So it started with swimming which I view more as a life skill than an activity - but it still involved scheduling, packing and unpacking the car and occasionally throwing dinner over my shoulder as we pull out of the driveway.

Then we added skating/hockey which my husband would argue is also a life skill - especially for Canadians! Then Cooper told us he wanted to try basketball...and then his friend was learning to snowboard and well you get the idea.

Now add Leah and her desire to do things like gymnastics and skating and we basically have landed in the place that I judged so harshly in my single years. And as I said - it's coming from the right place and it's not like we are depriving our kids right? Upon reflection I think we kind of are. We're depriving them of down time, of unstructured good old-fashioned play time. And while I'm at it I'd even say we're depriving them of quality Mom and Dad time. Sure we're with them a lot in the "shuttle" but the fact of the matter is that Peter and I usually divide and conquer which means we aren't always together as one big happy family - add to that the stress that we're feeling and well...here we are.

So what now? Well I can tell you I've learned a big lesson about programming. I've learned that every family is different when it comes to how much is too much. Some thrive in a busy environment and that's ok too. For me I'm going to set some limits and stick to them no matter how much our kids may want to learn violin or try sailing. Timing is everything. And although I don't know exactly what the limits will be for our kids the good news is that I'll have a lot of time to ponder it over the next couple of months as we ride out our current commitments. Time in the car, time in the bleachers, time in the viewing galleries....you get the idea!